watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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