is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
