You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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