Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
