i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
