when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
