8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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