My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize