Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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