Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
