I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
