Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize