So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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