cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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