i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
handjob tips. give me some.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
