hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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