I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
