Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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