***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
cat food counts as protein by the way
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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