I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
