My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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