Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she looked like the before picture.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
