Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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