She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I haven't been this sober since birth.
The best revenge is premature balding
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
