At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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