he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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