Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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