marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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