I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
