New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
