So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
