How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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