Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
