sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The air was thick with penises
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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