I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
