and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
