just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
