hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
