i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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