someone get that fucking seahorse.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
