Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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