I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
