He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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