I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
