so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
