his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
How naked do you want me to be?
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