If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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