do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
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