Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
