the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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