I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
