physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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