I wannas sexs uuuuu
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
