So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
