well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
