where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
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So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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