Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
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ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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