I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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