You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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