Dual....:-)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
