hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
