i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
it's like iHOP with fire
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
