I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
