he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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