just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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