This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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