with your own penis?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
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Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
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if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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